Jumping off the High Dive

I remember (quite viscerally) the way I felt as a kid as I prepared to jump off the high dive. I had to shore up my nerve, get my head in the right mental space, and then prepare my body for the impact -- all before I could step off the end (sometimes before I could even climb the ladder).

Today I realized that I go through a similar exercise with our daughter when I need her to comply with something that I know she'll resist: changing her diaper, putting on clothing (unless it's her hooded fleece jacket), sitting at the table to eat ... if you have or have had a toddler approaching two, I imagine you fully understand.

Each time, I have to take a few moments to resolve that I'm really going through with the activity in question and then rely on my assertiveness training (I used to teach women's self defense on the side) to pull myself through with active listening ("I hear that you don't like this") and broken record statements ("We have to do this if you want to play. We have to do this if you want to play. We have to do this if you want to play."). Sometimes I put my physical self defense training to the test as I dodge a wildly flailing leg or two, particularly when it comes to changing diapers.

If I don't go through this mental preparation, I find that the situation quickly spirals out of control, so I'm learning that I need to pull myself together sooner rather than later and muster up both the courage and energy to take the jump into the core of parenting: sticking it out when it seems easier to just give in -- while at times finding a compromise between the two.