Legitimate Mama

I'm starting to feel like a real mom. Instead of worrying about my every move, I'm focusing on having fun and being present.

Our normal weekend routine was starting to bore both of us -- I knew I was in trouble when my daughter would sign and say "play! play!" and didn't mean hanging out in the living room. Sure, we would regularly go to one of our local parks and occasionally meet up with a friend and her daughter, but even this routine was, well, routine (largely because this friend of mine is in the early stages of pregnancy and thus not feeling up to meeting much of late, so we end up going to the park alone more often than not).

My husband regularly innovates when it comes to outings during the week -- so why shouldn't I?

With this in mind last Saturday, my daughter and I started the day by going to a 3-year-old friend's birthday party at a park we hadn't visited before and laughed ourselves silly poking our heads in and out of an abandoned Little Tykes plastic house (it was our first time visiting this park and it seemed that it is a dumping ground for the Little Tykes line ... including multiple houses, slides, and kitchenettes). While the thought crossed my mind that we should be taking part more directly in the festivities, I decided to let it go and to follow her lead. It felt great.

After her nap that day, we went for ice cream with a friend I spontaneously called to join us.

In doing so, I realized that spontaneity is key -- so often I think we must do certain things at a certain time in a certain sequence. Sure, children need structure and a certain amount of routine, but I think I was taking it too far, heading quickly toward controlling.

I kept up with my new resolve today by deciding to go to a nearby children's museum that my daughter and I had never visited before together. We giggled at the antics of the wild rescue animals, oohed and aahed over the choo choos, hiked around the property, ate some snacks, stuck our fingers in puddles, popped in on a play rehearsal, and then circled back and did it all over again (normally, I would have headed home after the first round, sticking to my rigid schedule).

We were rewarded: not only was it a fulfilling day with each other, but, by sticking around, we met another mom and her daughter ... who was born 6 days before our daughter in the same hospital. Turns out that they were leaving the day we were admitted. And, get this: she's a working mom in academia with a stay-at-home partner!