Saturday, August 4, 2007

Whose Dream Was This?

I played with dolls. Constantly. I set up a changing table (even found a tube of Desitin left over from my infanthood that I used to soothe my own vinyl babies' bottoms), cooked for hours in my pretend kitchen, and made miniature dresses. When I wasn't playing with life-size babies, I was engrossed with my dollhouse. Sure, I went to college thinking I'd have a career (for about, oh, three years) and then I'd get married, have babies, and happily stay at home with them. I never wanted to go to graduate school. I never wanted a heavy-duty career. So how did I end up working full-time as a college dean while my husband is a stay-at-home dad with our 18-month old daughter?

I could answer that. But I won't ...

Amazingly, I am happy about -- even deeply fulfilled by -- the choices I've made, even though they are vastly different from my vision. But some days are a drag.

I've searched for forums in which working moms with stay-at-home dads exchange empathic wisdom about this unusual arrangement but have yet to find anything. Can anyone direct me, please?

10 comments:

dawn224 said...

I have no direction - but welcome to the world of blogging : )

Just Powers said...

Seems like resources are slim. Next time a working mom asks me where to go for support in this area I will know where to send them!

I think it is very cool that you are making up your own rules.

Sue Walsh said...

No direction either, but hi and welcome! Signed, Reader of Doodaddy and another Working Mama ;-)aka Sue at nobaddays (http://nobaddays.wordpress.com)
Your blog isn't set up to allow non-Blogger/Google commenters to sign in ;-)

Dean Mama said...

Thank you all (dawn/jen/sue)---I feel so warmly welcomed into this strange new world of blogging! I was surprised at the rapidity of response ... until I saw the grin on my husband's face which gave all away ... nonetheless, I am most grateful to you for your comments. It's a rush! I look forward to getting to know each of you via your sites.

@sue at nobaddays: thanks for the tip re. allowing non-Blogger folks to sign in! Have changed the settings.

Unknown said...

Actually, my husband sent me your link from Doodaddy's post before I saw Doodaddy's post.

I am also a working mom and my hubby stayed home for the 1st two years, and seems to be a lot like your husband.

So share away! We'll listen! :)

Aimee

useless_rambler said...

So, I peek at Doodaddy from time to time, hit the link to peek at your's, too, when suddenly it hit me...

I'm in your shoes!!!

Duh!!! (hit hand on forehead... figuratively, of course)

Kids are 8, 6 and 4. Been married to their step-dad for 2 years now. While immigrating from England, he had no choice, while waiting on 'proper papers', but to stay home, which actually worked out perfect for us.

The youngest will be start school in a few weeks and while he is starting to work more from home, he will still be primary care-taker while I work full-time as a teacher.

So, kindred spirits we are :)

You've got a fan!

(are you going to get a RSS feed? - I have to say here, that I had no idea what that was until my hubby set it up for me, so really, I'm clueless on 'em, but I use them)

Dean Mama said...

So wonderful to hear from kindred spirits aimee and useless_rambler! Now I feel even more incentive to keep writing. Will look forward to hearing your insights and experiences.

HereNowSeattle said...

I was thinknig the other day why there were no sites out there dedicated to women like us...working wives of stay at home dads. I was doing a search to finda group for my husband to join and came acros a link to your blog. I'm so glad you started this. I will be checking in with you often. We just let our live in nanny go and my husband has decided to do it ALL and attempt to work on his side business while the kids nap. I'm nervouse and excited about this new arrangement. its nice to know where there are others lik me.

Dean Mama said...

Welcome, Carla! I look forward to hearing more from you---we're starting to gather momentum!

Anonymous said...

No Direction...but still looking for the way.

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